Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Peer Edits- Editorial
1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
Yes, she does not like that the gate between the upper and lower parking lots is closed.
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
Yes, the problem is that the closed gate has caused more traffic and accidents, while the solution is to open the gate to let students go through.
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
Yes, she said that the school closed the gate because they wanted to lessen traffic and lessen the number of accidents that happen in the morning and afternoons.You can probably add a little more to this, was there a speific incident that caused the administration to close the gate?
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
It is an article that would be interesting to most Eastview students because it affects them all. No student wants to deal with the long lines that are always at the turning lights--it's annoying.
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
The first paragraph states the problem and what the administration was trying to do, and the second paragraph talks about the specific impacts that closing the gate has had on students as a whole.
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
Yes, the paragraphs work together well.
7. Is the writing clear?
For the most part, however there are some parts that I was confused in. In the second paragraph, the part about possibly closing a right lane so people can turn was confusing--which street are you talking about? Johnny Cake?
Also, are there any other impacts on the closed gate? How have accidents gone up? On average, how late are students now because of this? Has is caused any good things to happen?
1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
Yes, she thinks car manufacturers need to be more careful with the cars they produce
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
Yes, the problem is that car makers have been making cars forever, but they do not necessarily know how safe the cars are. Solutions are that the country needs to have more sanctions or guidelines/regulations.
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
Not really, there have not been many counter arguments on this topic, so they are probably hard to find.
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
Yes, mainly because it is a topic that relates to most people in the US because driving is pretty common. The topic of car recalls has also been a big deal in the past few months, so people are interested in it.
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
Yes, she first states the problem and then goes into the solutions.
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
Yes, they all work together.
7. Is the writing clear?
Yeah, the idea is developed well. It makes sense, and her view of the problem is very clear.
Yes, she does not like that the gate between the upper and lower parking lots is closed.
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
Yes, the problem is that the closed gate has caused more traffic and accidents, while the solution is to open the gate to let students go through.
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
Yes, she said that the school closed the gate because they wanted to lessen traffic and lessen the number of accidents that happen in the morning and afternoons.You can probably add a little more to this, was there a speific incident that caused the administration to close the gate?
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
It is an article that would be interesting to most Eastview students because it affects them all. No student wants to deal with the long lines that are always at the turning lights--it's annoying.
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
The first paragraph states the problem and what the administration was trying to do, and the second paragraph talks about the specific impacts that closing the gate has had on students as a whole.
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
Yes, the paragraphs work together well.
7. Is the writing clear?
For the most part, however there are some parts that I was confused in. In the second paragraph, the part about possibly closing a right lane so people can turn was confusing--which street are you talking about? Johnny Cake?
Also, are there any other impacts on the closed gate? How have accidents gone up? On average, how late are students now because of this? Has is caused any good things to happen?
1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
Yes, she thinks car manufacturers need to be more careful with the cars they produce
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
Yes, the problem is that car makers have been making cars forever, but they do not necessarily know how safe the cars are. Solutions are that the country needs to have more sanctions or guidelines/regulations.
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
Not really, there have not been many counter arguments on this topic, so they are probably hard to find.
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
Yes, mainly because it is a topic that relates to most people in the US because driving is pretty common. The topic of car recalls has also been a big deal in the past few months, so people are interested in it.
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
Yes, she first states the problem and then goes into the solutions.
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
Yes, they all work together.
7. Is the writing clear?
Yeah, the idea is developed well. It makes sense, and her view of the problem is very clear.
Editorial/Opinion
Price over nutrition, and nutrition over taste; the method with which schools choose their lunch menus has not been helpful for students. For many years now, schools have partnered with specific companies that give cheaper deals for food bought in bulk. Would it not make more sense to provide healthy and good tasting food for the growing children that are our future? This is exactly what administrators need to realize.
With the current hullabaloo about nutritional lunch programs, our district has taken many strides to make our lunches better for us. In order to buy every regular lunch meal, disregarding the “a la carte” options, students are required to buy one serving of fruits or vegetables, and one serving of milk. This would be perfect if it were not for the quality of the fruits and vegetables that are served. Many students will tell you that the fruits look exactly like they were taken out of a can and thawed a few minutes before being served, and they are always drowning in overly sweet corn syrup. The vegetables look the same way, and many times, the cooked veggies are mushy and without taste.
I have been reassured many times that these lunches are much healthier than what they used to be. However, if the lunches do not taste good, there is nothing to force the students into eating them. Many students currently bypass the regular lunch choices and go straight to the extra “a la carte” options, which usually have lower nutritional value. French fries, cheese bread and dipping sauce, and “barbeque chicken chunks” and ice cream might be okay in moderation, but once students choose to eat this every day, problems arise.
When it comes to taste, it makes no sense for the school to charge extra for the food that tastes better if it is not as nutritional for students. Though it might be more profitable for school districts and food companies, schools are obligated to do what is better for their students. Especially with a major obesity problem in America, you would think schools would see this as a problem, and add extra incentives to try to lure students into eating the food that is good for them. An easy way to do this is to have healthy food that tastes good, such as fresh fruits and vegetables.
Students need to realize that the food they are being served has the potential to ruin their futures as food related health problems increase. It may be possible to change the menu to include tastier options, and eliminate wording that makes the dishes sound worse than they really are, such as “barbecue chicken chunks.” Many students are ready to sacrifice the amount of choices they have or possibly pay a little more for healthier and tastier food in the cafeteria. By making these changes, it will not only make students happier, but it will provide them with a nutritional meal that will help them in the future.
With the current hullabaloo about nutritional lunch programs, our district has taken many strides to make our lunches better for us. In order to buy every regular lunch meal, disregarding the “a la carte” options, students are required to buy one serving of fruits or vegetables, and one serving of milk. This would be perfect if it were not for the quality of the fruits and vegetables that are served. Many students will tell you that the fruits look exactly like they were taken out of a can and thawed a few minutes before being served, and they are always drowning in overly sweet corn syrup. The vegetables look the same way, and many times, the cooked veggies are mushy and without taste.
I have been reassured many times that these lunches are much healthier than what they used to be. However, if the lunches do not taste good, there is nothing to force the students into eating them. Many students currently bypass the regular lunch choices and go straight to the extra “a la carte” options, which usually have lower nutritional value. French fries, cheese bread and dipping sauce, and “barbeque chicken chunks” and ice cream might be okay in moderation, but once students choose to eat this every day, problems arise.
When it comes to taste, it makes no sense for the school to charge extra for the food that tastes better if it is not as nutritional for students. Though it might be more profitable for school districts and food companies, schools are obligated to do what is better for their students. Especially with a major obesity problem in America, you would think schools would see this as a problem, and add extra incentives to try to lure students into eating the food that is good for them. An easy way to do this is to have healthy food that tastes good, such as fresh fruits and vegetables.
Students need to realize that the food they are being served has the potential to ruin their futures as food related health problems increase. It may be possible to change the menu to include tastier options, and eliminate wording that makes the dishes sound worse than they really are, such as “barbecue chicken chunks.” Many students are ready to sacrifice the amount of choices they have or possibly pay a little more for healthier and tastier food in the cafeteria. By making these changes, it will not only make students happier, but it will provide them with a nutritional meal that will help them in the future.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Editorial Prewriting
1. What is a problem/issue that our entire student body (our school, community, country, etc.) faces today?
Unhealthy school lunches
2. What is your view/position on the problem or situation?
It seems as if the school lunches are not very healthy for us, and they do not always taste good.It seems like the school is trying to save a lot of money by buying the cheaper food products, but it is not the best for students.
3. What would you like to achieve with your editorial? (What is the desired result?)
I would like to get people thinking about the school lunch system, and perhaps even get the administration to make a few changes regarding what they serve.
4. How will you persuade your audience to adopt your viewpoint as theirs? List at least 4 persuasive points.
I will talk to the lunch ladies about what they serve, ask fellow students what they think about the food, do some research on school lunch prices and quality, and [hopefully] show how we can have better tasting food that is cheap and healthy.
5. How will you motivate your readership to action in your conclusion?
I will ask EVHS students to think more carefully abotu what they eat from the lunchroom.
6. How will your editorial serve a public purpose?
It serves the students who would like to buy and eat school food.
Unhealthy school lunches
2. What is your view/position on the problem or situation?
It seems as if the school lunches are not very healthy for us, and they do not always taste good.It seems like the school is trying to save a lot of money by buying the cheaper food products, but it is not the best for students.
3. What would you like to achieve with your editorial? (What is the desired result?)
I would like to get people thinking about the school lunch system, and perhaps even get the administration to make a few changes regarding what they serve.
4. How will you persuade your audience to adopt your viewpoint as theirs? List at least 4 persuasive points.
I will talk to the lunch ladies about what they serve, ask fellow students what they think about the food, do some research on school lunch prices and quality, and [hopefully] show how we can have better tasting food that is cheap and healthy.
5. How will you motivate your readership to action in your conclusion?
I will ask EVHS students to think more carefully abotu what they eat from the lunchroom.
6. How will your editorial serve a public purpose?
It serves the students who would like to buy and eat school food.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Peer Edits
I edited Amy Palmby's feature story:
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
It would be interesting to hear more about what you did in the control tower with your dad. How were you able to be up there without it becoming such a big deal like it did in JFK? This might make the story a little easier to follow.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
You can use the news stories from CNN or the New York Times or something, and maybe even the FAA reports and statements. That might explain how big of a deal this incident actually became.
The lead was pretty good, but you can probably tie it into your story a little more. Maybe take out the part about visiting your mother, since it has nothing to do with being in the control tower.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes, you describe the times when you visited your father really well, it makes a lot of sense with the rest of your story. These descriptions also explain your connection with the happening at JFK, which is good.
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
You can take out the parts about visiting your mother, but everything else seems good. See if you can add more about how you got into the tower with your father, and why it wasn't a big deal.
I edited Amira Ansari's feature story:
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
You should add more to the ending, about how your mom got better. It seems like you talked a lot about how she got sick and how the operations were, but it ends abruptly.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
You might be able to add more information about staph infections, and what they do exactly. Try using WebMD or some other medical website. You did have some information about it, which helped me understand what was happening.
The lead was pretty good because it can relate to a lot of people. You should mention that this happened during the Swine Flu freak out, which made it an even bigger deal.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes, you describe the scenes where your mom got sick. You might be able to add more about the hospital and/or your mom's hospital room, the waiting room [I'm guessing you spent a lot of time there].
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I don't think you should take anything out, but try to add more about your mom's recovery process. It must have been hard for her to get better after so much, so add some more detail about that. It will also act as a good conclusion.
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
It would be interesting to hear more about what you did in the control tower with your dad. How were you able to be up there without it becoming such a big deal like it did in JFK? This might make the story a little easier to follow.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
You can use the news stories from CNN or the New York Times or something, and maybe even the FAA reports and statements. That might explain how big of a deal this incident actually became.
The lead was pretty good, but you can probably tie it into your story a little more. Maybe take out the part about visiting your mother, since it has nothing to do with being in the control tower.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes, you describe the times when you visited your father really well, it makes a lot of sense with the rest of your story. These descriptions also explain your connection with the happening at JFK, which is good.
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
You can take out the parts about visiting your mother, but everything else seems good. See if you can add more about how you got into the tower with your father, and why it wasn't a big deal.
I edited Amira Ansari's feature story:
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
You should add more to the ending, about how your mom got better. It seems like you talked a lot about how she got sick and how the operations were, but it ends abruptly.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
You might be able to add more information about staph infections, and what they do exactly. Try using WebMD or some other medical website. You did have some information about it, which helped me understand what was happening.
The lead was pretty good because it can relate to a lot of people. You should mention that this happened during the Swine Flu freak out, which made it an even bigger deal.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes, you describe the scenes where your mom got sick. You might be able to add more about the hospital and/or your mom's hospital room, the waiting room [I'm guessing you spent a lot of time there].
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I don't think you should take anything out, but try to add more about your mom's recovery process. It must have been hard for her to get better after so much, so add some more detail about that. It will also act as a good conclusion.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Feature Story
Talking to walls, character pops, hilarious voices, and suits; these four things may seem out of place to many people, however they are commonplace for every speech tournament. There are various things students go through to prepare themselves for their competitions, and many of these practices are strange and awkward. However, this never stops the members of the speech team from doing what they do best – tell stories.
Eastview High School’s Speech Team has been competitively successful for over five years, and much of this success stems from the involvement of students and faculty. To do well, every student is required to attend a couple of practices each week. While certain categories, such as discussion and extemporaneous speaking, require group practices, others require much one on one time with coaches. This time is spent anywhere from finding a “cutting” for a performance
to going over character pops to make sure they are seamless.
Warming up for each speech has become a ritual for many of the “speechies.” For any speech to be given properly, each student needs to make sure that they are fully awake and excited for their upcoming rounds. Right away after arriving at a tournament, the team captains scatter to look for empty rooms to be used for team warm-ups. As the team files into the room, the excitement in the room constantly rises. The captains begin with their usual repertoire of warm-ups, and the room erupts in the chat-like phrases.
“A Big Black Bug Bit a Big Black Bear…*clap*…A Big Black Bug…”
Each student has these tongue twisters memorized, and they try to come up with new ways to say them. Some have extremely serious faces as they are practicing for their drama pieces, while others are almost jumping around the room trying to wake themselves up for their humorous pieces. Nevertheless, there is a sense of unity among these students as they do each phrase.
It seems as if each warm-up exercise is designed to accomplish something different. Facial stretches, during which the captains each say something funny or something that will make the students angry, are used to, well, stretch the face. Team members react differently, and this helps them prepare their faces so they can be completely into their speeches. This is especially useful for the members in categories like storytelling and humorous, where there are various characters they need to portray.
If an outsider walked in on these people dancing around, he or she would definitely think it was a room full of crazy people. This is mainly because of the “Let me see your funky chicken” warm-up. It starts out with one of the captains making something up, like “Let me see your crazy cab driver,” and the team members will pretend to drive around like maniacs. The funky chicken is always saved for the last phrase, and the job of saying the phrase is passed down to a new member of the team each year. This year, it is the job of captain Lindsey White, who leads the chant with as much enthusiasm as anyone could possibly have. During this part of the warm-up, members are clucking like chickens, and just having a good time.
After the team warm-ups, members go back to their tables in the cafeteria. Here they partake in their own warm-up traditions and rituals. For senior duo member Barbie Close, that means going through a specified plan.
“In the morning, I put on my suit, making sure to lint roll! The basic routine in the morning it similar to a school day except for I'm putting on a suit instead of jeans and a t-shirt. Before every round, I comb my hair, refill my water bottle...basically make sure that there will be no little problems or distractions during the round.”
As Barbie points out, lint rolling has become a favorite pastime for students. Whenever there is free time in-between rounds, there will be at least one team member trying to get every “fuzzy” off of their suit. This has even lead to some creativity, as some students now have expensive scented lint rollers or extra sticky rollers. Needless to say, these students like to stay classy.
Speaking of which, Eastview’s Speech Team is known for its class. Emphasis is put on every aspect of the team’s appearance, from suits to etiquette. Each student is required to wear a suit of a normal color (black, grey, navy blue), and the coaches check off the suits of every member in the beginning of the season. Wearing school gear and jackets are a tournament faux pas, as anything that reveals the identity of the school go against the best wishes of the performers. This is mainly because certain judges hold grudges or have preconceived notions about certain teams, so every precaution is taken to keep those out of the way.
The strangest aspect of speech in general is the habit of talking to walls. Without fail, when a novice speech member walks into a tournament and notices people talking to walls and being completely serious, they rethink their decision to be on the team. This is the most common way for students to warm up, as they can give their speech as many times as they want to a wall, without causing a major distraction.
Along with this, Senior Oratory member Divya Reddy points out that there are a lot of other aspects of the team that are a little different.
“We rant about speech for hours and don't seem to care how annoyed everyone is listening to us, we CHOOSE to wake up at 5:30 on saturdays, we think people who don't wear suits are not classy...we use the word classy (and are completely serious), [and] we can usually tell what category a person is in after they have said two words.”
Divya also points out that speech is different in that it is a group led individual event. Although the team takes pride in everyone’s accomplishments, students are sometimes forced to compete against their own teammates. Head coach Jim Fedje explains that unlike other activities at Eastview, speech focuses on being effective and powerful communicaters. In the long run, it does not matter how one is dressed or what your piece is, though these things can always help, it matters how one says whatever it is they say.
The team has had many changes in the past few years, including different head coaches and the size of the team. Though there are some people with mixed views of this, overall the team has been able to adapt to it very well. While leadership has been different from year to year, the veterans on the team have kept it going. Captains have organized many team bonding parties and practices, and morale has been high. In this way, the team has always been a tight-knit community.
Throughout each tournament, this team bonding shows through in the form of friendships and support. While team members are waiting to see who makes it to finals, other teammates are always supporting them through the stressful time. Once a category has been posted, there is always an outpouring of students going to watch each final round, making sure to watch their friends’ performances. This has helped many members gain the confidence they need to perform to the best of their abilities, which has boosted the team’s success.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Feature Interview Questions
Divya Reddy
1. What do you do to get ready for a Speech tournament?
2. Why are you in Speech?
3. What makes the Speech team different than other teams at Eastview?
4. What are the strangest parts about the Speech team?
5. Do you plan to continue something related to speech in the future?
Elizabeth Roeske
1. What do you do to get ready for a Speech tournament?
2. Why are you in Speech?
3. What makes the Speech team different than other teams at Eastview?
4. What are the strangest parts about the Speech team?
5. Do you plan to continue something related to speech in the future?
Mr. Fedje
1.Why did you decide to become the head coach of the team?
2. What are your favorite parts of the team and the season as a whole?
3. What is unique about speech compared to other Eastview teams/groups?
4. How should students get ready for tournaments?
5. How long have you been involved in speech?
1. What do you do to get ready for a Speech tournament?
2. Why are you in Speech?
3. What makes the Speech team different than other teams at Eastview?
4. What are the strangest parts about the Speech team?
5. Do you plan to continue something related to speech in the future?
Elizabeth Roeske
1. What do you do to get ready for a Speech tournament?
2. Why are you in Speech?
3. What makes the Speech team different than other teams at Eastview?
4. What are the strangest parts about the Speech team?
5. Do you plan to continue something related to speech in the future?
Mr. Fedje
1.Why did you decide to become the head coach of the team?
2. What are your favorite parts of the team and the season as a whole?
3. What is unique about speech compared to other Eastview teams/groups?
4. How should students get ready for tournaments?
5. How long have you been involved in speech?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)